So far in this series, we’ve talked about how self-care isn’t about luxury—and how self-love doesn’t mean feeling 100% every day. This week, we’re digging into one of the most underrated forms of both, and frankly a personal favorite of mine:
✨ Boundaries. ✨
If hearing that word makes you think of awkward conversations or guilty feelings, you’re not alone. For a long time, I felt the same way. But setting boundaries—both in my work and personal life—has been one of the most transformative acts of self-care I’ve ever learned.
My Story With Boundaries
I used to say “yes” to a lot.
Big time commitments, group plans I didn’t want to join, opportunities I wasn’t excited about—but felt like I should accept. I told myself I was being helpful and supportive.
But what I was really doing?
Overcommitting, burning out, and leaving no time to rest or reset.
And result from that was that I wasn’t adequately showing up for my family, friends, and clients.
It took time (and some uncomfortable trial and error), but I’ve learned to protect my time and energy by saying no more. These days, I set a lot more boundaries—professionally and personally. And even when it’s not always easy, I’ve never regretted choosing peace over people-pleasing.
What Boundaries Actually Are (And Aren’t)
Boundaries are not:
- Being rude or cold
- Cutting people out completely
- Selfish or inconsiderate
Boundaries are:
- Choosing what you say yes to (and what you don’t)
- Protecting your physical, emotional, and mental health
- Making space for the things that really matter to you
And yes—boundaries are self-care.
Examples of Boundaries That Support Self-Love
- Saying no to plans even when you are actually available
- Logging off from work at a set time
- Not responding immediately to every text or email
- Declining projects that don’t align with your goals
- Limiting time with people who drain your energy
Boundaries look different for everyone. But they all serve the same purpose:
To honor your time, your energy, and your needs.
You Don’t Have to Justify Your “No”
Here’s the thing: You are allowed to say no without explaining yourself.
You don’t have to be burned out to earn a break.
You don’t have to say yes just because your calendar technically has space.
You don’t have to prove you're “busy enough” to decline.
Sometimes, self-love sounds like:
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
“That doesn’t work for me, but I hope it goes well!”
If Saying No Feels Hard… You’re Not Alone
It took me years to feel confident setting boundaries, and honestly—it’s still a work in progress. But each time I choose to protect my peace instead of people-pleasing, I feel more grounded, more present, and more in control of how I spend my time.
If boundaries are new to you, start small. Practice. Remind yourself that it’s not unkind to put yourself first—it’s necessary.
💬 Next Up:
We’re talking self-talk next week—specifically, how to speak to yourself like someone you love. Because your inner voice matters more than you think.
