How many times have you said, "I just need to get motivated"?
Maybe you want to exercise more, eat healthier, lose weight, or simply take better care of yourself. You know what you want to do, you know what you should be doing, but when the time comes to actually do it, you don't feel motivated.
But here's something I've been thinking about a lot, both through my own experience and through what I've learned in my Health Mindset Coaching Certification:
You're almost always motivated to do something. It just may not be the thing you think you should be motivated to do.
Think about a day when you're tired after work. You might tell yourself you're not motivated to exercise, but you're probably very motivated to sit on the couch, grab a snack, and watch Netflix.
You're motivated to do the thing that feels easiest, most enjoyable, or most rewarding right now.
And that distinction matters.
I Don't Feel Motivated Every Day Either
I think there's sometimes an assumption that because I exercise regularly, run, strength train, and have completed marathons and a 50 mile ultramarathon, I must be incredibly motivated all the time. I can assure you that's not the case. There are plenty of days when I don't particularly want to run. There are workouts that I don't feel excited about starting, and there are definitely days when sitting on the couch sounds much more appealing.
In fact, this happened to me yesterday. Work was busy, I was a little low on energy, and when it was time to do my strength workout, I really didn't want to do it. I was much more motivated to skip the workout and keep working on the project in front of me. And honestly, if you had asked me at that moment whether I was motivated to exercise, I would have said no.
But I was motivated. I just wasn't motivated to do the thing I had planned to do.
The difference is that I've spent years building habits and routines around exercise. I know when I'm going to work out, I know what I'm supposed to do, and exercise has become part of how I structure my life. I don't have to make the decision from scratch every time. Even when the couch or another activity sounds more appealing in the moment, my routine helps me follow through with what I've already decided is important to me.
I'm not waking up every morning and asking myself, "Do I feel motivated to exercise today?" If I did, I probably wouldn't be nearly as consistent.
We're Often Choosing the Immediate Reward
This is one of the reasons motivation can be so tricky when it comes to health.
Many of the behaviors we want to change offer an immediate reward.
Sitting on the couch feels good when you're tired. Eating a snack can be enjoyable. Ordering takeout is convenient when you don't want to cook. Scrolling your phone requires very little effort.
The healthy behavior we're trying to establish might have a reward too, but it's often delayed.
You don't necessarily feel the benefits of one strength workout immediately. You don't see a dramatic change in your health because you ate a serving of vegetables today. And one healthy meal isn't going to change your body composition overnight.
So we're often asking our brains to choose a smaller immediate reward in exchange for a larger reward somewhere down the road.
That's a much more complicated proposition than simply saying, "I need more motivation."
So What Do We Do About It?
Instead of trying to magically become more motivated to make healthy choices, I think it's much more useful to look at what is currently motivating your behavior and then figure out how you can make the behavior you want more appealing.
I actually learned this lesson long before I ever heard the term "behavior change."
When I was first going to the gym while I was obese, I loved watching The Real Housewives. (ok, I still do) At the time, watching an episode was something I was genuinely motivated to do. Going to the gym? Not so much.
So I decided to combine the two. I would watch The Real Housewives while I was on the elliptical, which immediately made going to the gym more appealing. In fact, I took it a step further and actually cut my cable so that the only place I could watch the show was at the gym.
Yes, I was that committed to my Housewives strategy.
And you may think that is crazy, but it worked.
Suddenly, going to the gym wasn't just about exercising. It was also my opportunity to watch something I enjoyed. I had taken something I was already motivated to do and paired it with something I wasn't particularly motivated to do.
And looking back, I think that was a pretty clever strategy—even though I certainly wasn't thinking about motivation or behavior change at the time.
That's something you can try with your own habits. If you're consistently choosing the couch over your workout, don't immediately label yourself lazy or unmotivated. Ask yourself what you're getting from the couch. Maybe you're exhausted and genuinely need some rest. Maybe you're looking for stress relief. Maybe you simply want some downtime.
Those are real human needs! And the goal doesn’t need to be to eliminate them! It's to figure out how you can meet those needs while still moving toward your goals.
Maybe you watch your favorite show while walking on your treadmill. Maybe you listen to a podcast you love while you're out for a walk. Maybe you give yourself 20 minutes to decompress before doing your workout. Or maybe you decide that today really is a rest day and schedule your workout for tomorrow.
The question isn't, "How do I force myself to be motivated?"
It's "How can I make the behavior I want a little easier or more appealing?"
And sometimes, that might mean finding your own version of a Real Housewives elliptical strategy.
Motivation Isn't One Thing
Something else I found interesting during my certification was learning more about the different types of motivation.
We often talk about motivation as if it's one thing, but why you're doing something matters.
There's a difference between exercising because you feel like you should and exercising because being strong and capable is important to you.
There's a difference between changing your eating because you're afraid of what the scale will say and changing it because you want more energy and want to feel better in your body.
And there's a difference between doing something because someone else thinks you should and doing it because it aligns with your own values.
The more connected a behavior is to what actually matters to you, the more meaningful that behavior becomes.
That's why I often encourage clients to look beyond the surface level goal.
If someone tells me they want to lose 30 pounds, I'm interested in the goal, but I'm even more interested in why they want to lose 30 pounds.
What do they hope will be different?
What would that change allow them to do?
How do they want to feel?
What kind of person do they want to become?
The answer is usually much more meaningful than the number on the scale.
Ask Yourself "Why?"
If you've been struggling to make a change, take a step back and ask yourself why you want to make that change in the first place.
Let's say your goal is to exercise three times a week.
Why?
Maybe you want to lose weight.
Why does losing weight matter to you?
Maybe you want to feel more comfortable in your clothes.
Why does that matter?
Maybe you want to feel confident when you travel, have more energy, or be able to do things with your family without feeling limited.
There isn't necessarily one right answer. The point is to keep asking until you get beyond the surface-level goal and connect your behavior to something that actually matters to you.
Because "I should exercise" isn't particularly motivating.
"I want to stay strong and capable as I get older" is a very different reason to get moving.
You Don't Have to Feel Like Doing It
This is one of the biggest lessons I wish more people understood.
You don't have to feel motivated to take action.
Sometimes you take action first, and your feelings catch up afterward.
Think about exercise. You might not feel like going for a walk, but you put on your shoes and tell yourself you'll walk for ten minutes. Once you're moving, you might find that you feel better and decide to keep going.
Or maybe you don't feel like doing your strength workout, but you tell yourself you'll just do the first exercise. Once you've started, continuing doesn't feel nearly as difficult.
That's one reason I encourage people to make the first step incredibly small. You don't have to commit to an hour long workout when you're struggling to get started.
Put on your shoes.
Walk for five minutes.
Do one set.
Sometimes getting started is the hardest part.
Think About Who You're Becoming
Another mindset shift I find really helpful is moving from an outcome-based goal toward an identity-based one.
Instead of only asking, "What do I want to accomplish?" ask, "Who do I want to become?"
"I want to lose weight" is an outcome.
"I want to become someone who takes care of her health" is an identity.
"I want to run a 5K" is an outcome.
"I want to become someone who enjoys being active" is an identity.
"I want to eat healthier" is an outcome.
"I want to become someone who regularly chooses foods that make me feel good" is an identity.
The goal isn't to pretend you've already become that person. It's to start making choices that are consistent with the person you're working toward becoming.
Every time you follow through, you're reinforcing that identity.
Try This This Week
The next time you catch yourself saying, "I'm not motivated," stop and ask yourself:
"What am I motivated to do instead?"
Maybe the answer is to sit on the couch. Maybe it's to scroll your phone. Maybe it's to order takeout.
Don't judge the answer. Get curious about it.
Then ask yourself:
"What could make the behavior I want to do a little easier, more appealing, or more rewarding?"
And finally, remind yourself why you're doing it in the first place.
You don't have to feel excited about every healthy choice you make. You just need to understand why the choice matters to you and make it easy enough that you can follow through even when the immediate alternative looks more appealing.
Final Thoughts
I don't want you to walk away from this thinking that motivation doesn't matter. It does. Motivation can absolutely influence our choices, and there will be times when you're genuinely excited about making a change.
But I don't think the answer to creating a healthier life is waiting around for the day when you're finally motivated enough.
You're already motivated every day.
The question is what are you motivated to do?
Sometimes you're motivated to exercise because you know it will make you feel good. Other times you're motivated to sit on the couch because you're exhausted and need a break. Sometimes you're motivated to cook a healthy dinner, and sometimes you're very motivated to order pizza.
That's normal.
Instead of judging yourself for not being motivated, get curious about what is driving your behavior. Connect your goals to what actually matters to you, make healthy choices easier, and don't be afraid to start with a very small action.
You don't have to feel like doing something in order for it to be worth doing.
And you don't have to wait for motivation. Sometimes, you just need to get started.
